What I’m afraid of (the blogging version)


Well… I mean… lots of things.

I’m afraid of being shackled to something without an expiration date. I’m afraid this will suck me in and I’ll be spending my evenings writing late into the night. I’m afraid to write about things that really matter because what is said about things that really matter REALLY MATTERS. I’m afraid I won’t have time for the things that really matter in my own life. I’m afraid of returning to the land of Narcissism. I’m afraid of balance. I’m afraid that this thing will get too big too fast and I’ll have to deal with figuring out how to deal with it on my own. I’m afraid that one day a reader will meet me and think, “Wow. She’s kind of a mess,” because they will be RIGHT!

But otherwise, nothing.

So I’m blogging. I’m still afraid, but I’m blogging.

This entry was posted in about me and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to What I’m afraid of (the blogging version)

  1. Jaimie says:

    We’re all afraid. You know, someone said and I can’t remember who, that the thing you’re meant to do is the thing you’re most afraid of doing. I read that in The War of Art, which is an amazing, amazing book, so perhaps it was Steven Pressfield that said it.

    • Monica says:

      The War of Art is on my reading list this year. A friend read some of it to me, and I’m really looking forward to more. I also want to write my own supplemental chapter, but I suppose I should read the entire thing first.

      I think there is something to the idea that our genius is related to –even found in– our fear. (Hmm… new blog topic?) I don’t think my biggest fear can possibly be blogging, though, because if it is, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn’t be doing it.

      What are you most afraid of doing?

      • Jaimie says:

        I’m most afraid of owning up to myself that I don’t think homosexuality is a sin. I’m afraid because I don’t know where that lands me, theology-wise. They tell me it’s a world with no absolutes. Heck, I tell that to myself. So I don’t know.

      • Jaimie says:

        I want to add – my fear isn’t so much owning this to myself, but the consequences that would follow. If I believe that’s true, that means lots of people are being spiritually manipulated in Jesus’s name, and that’s something I should speak out about, you know? But speaking out about it would give me HELL in my personal life. Family and such. So yeah.

        • Monica says:

          I can imagine what taking a vocal stance on that issue would bring to your life. If it’s a view you’re struggling with so severely, I’m sure you’ve spent a lot of time in thought, prayer, and research over it. I can say that I believe homosexual acts and thoughts are sinful, just as any sexual acts and thoughts outside the confines of marriage (one man, one woman).

          I struggle with pride. I would even say I was born that way. In fact, I’m quite certain I was born that way. It became a big part of my identity. At one point in my heathen life, I was truly defined by it. And it’s terribly sinful. The problem is not that pride is my temptation and [one of many] weakness[es]. Temptation is not a sin. The problem is when I allow my pride to infect my thoughts and govern my actions. It is then that I sin.

          I don’t see how the struggle of homosexuality is different.

          Perhaps, though, you refer to homosexual acts, in which case I would refer again to any sexual activity (homosexual, heterosexual, or…well, goodness, people come up with all sorts of varying perversions) outside of a heterosexual marriage being sinful. I don’t understand why Christians single out homosexuality as if it’s somehow extra-bad. It’s all bad, and we are all bad.

          “Nothing in my hand I bring. Simply to thy cross I cling…”

          (Sorry for the belated reply. Trying to get back on my happy blogger feet…)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s